Monday, May 5, 2008

How to talk to men - seductive talking

The big question - on everyone's lips is: "What does he want to hear?"

Men are primary visual types when it comes to opposite sex and attraction, but your words could be more seductive than you think. I think you girls are looking for "the MAN", not "a man", right?

Well, the MAN is most likely a guy who has been with al kinds of great-looking women. Gorgeous blondes, seductive brunettes, all races, beautiful shaped bodies... and he is probably fed up with that. That's me for example. A boom looking woman today is not enough for me, at least not like when I was 16. Real men need something more. So, there is the second weapon - your tongue. And not for licking and kissing, but to speak. But be careful, and read my giudelines, since without them, your tongue is more likely to cause disaster than intimacy between you two.

1. Mirror his mood and talking style. This is pure psychology. If he is slow and calm, keep that mood and pace his movement. If he is packed with energy and speaks 200 miles per hour, try to follow. The mood of your man on a date may not be his usual behaviour; it could be just a "first date" effect, as we all tend to behave a bit different on a date than with our friends - this is natural. But just reflect his mood, whatever it is. If he starts to reflect a bit of yours, that's great, but that still doesn't mean he's falling in love with you - some people naturally mirror the mood of their dialogue partner.

2. Do not mention diets, fitness plans or cosmetics. This is where most girls fail miserably. I know ALL the girls are insecure; even the most gorgeous looking girls will find some part of their body they don't like. I really cannot explain this female behaviour. But - for God's sake - do NOT speak about your plans to lose 20 pounds by midnight on March 17th. It's a big turn-off for men. You will present yourself as a person who doesn't like herself, oh boy, now is that seductive? You would fall in love with a man who likes his life and himself, right? Well the same is true for the other side.

3. Ex boyfriends. This is a dangerous topic. Basically, you should avoid mentioning them without reason. But, if he asks, answer with style. Tell him that you had a boyfriend, or a few of them (do not mention more than 3, even if it's not true). Do not mention one-night stands. If he puts you in the "One night stands" folder, it's very hard to move from there anywhere other than trash. Trust me, I am a guy with guy friends.

4. Clothes and other female topics are forbidden. It's a simple logic. Would you like a man to speak about football, hardware, or politics? Avoid shopping, fashion, spiritual healing, and other strictly female topics.

5. "Most of my female friends are married and have kids" - This is where many guys lost interest in a girl on a first date (including me). Please stay MILES away from this topic. It litteraly says that you want to get married with the first guy ahead. Men do like marriage, but definitely not with a complete stranger. It's somehow the same as girls like sex, but with not with a complete stranger (except in their fantasies).

6. Leave your cell phone off. Nobody wants do date a busy female enterpreneur, this is definitely not a man's dream. Nevertheless, you could type one text message during the date (say something like "I have to answer a message, just a second please"), since this leaves him out a bit of mystery - maybe he's not the only one interested in you, and this chance may soon expire. Great. But do not exaggerate and send 3 or more messages, then it's too obvious. One message is the best.

7. Show your vulnerability. This is where the seduction comes. Most men fall in love with a girl who is unprotected and need help. Men do not like succesuful, strong, and independent women, so if you happen to be one, maybe the best thing is not to mention it! This is vital, girls. I know you look for these signs in men, but trust me, we do not seek the same in women.

I will write more about this topic, but these are the most important tips on how to talk to men. Try them out and see the results.

All the best from Robert!


Loubna Aabid said...

I find your blog interesting!! Please keep writing. :-)

Anonymous said...

Thx! Its always good to get a guys advice
Keep writing :)

Anonymous said...

so wut if the man is playing hard to get

sarah said...

thanks robert!
you should really keep writing,
I'll recommend your blog to my girlfriends ;)

Raven said...

You seem a little cocky Robert. That isn't seductive to a woman... at least not to me :)

Anonymous said...

Men do not like succesuful, strong, and independent women, so if you happen to be one, maybe the best thing is not to mention it! This is vital, girls. I know you look for these signs in men, but trust me, we do not seek the same in women.

Most men need there ego tended to more than they need food or water.

Anonymous said...

You are very right. Woman hate to admit it but you are. And I assume you have every right to be cocky.

Anonymous said...

Thx for giving us women a man's point of view cant wait for the rest keep writing

Claudia said...

Hmmm I guess point 7 rules out the chance of me finding my equal male partner. Too bad, but still I need some one who knows how to fix things!

Anonymous said...


Adam said...

Ugh. Speaking as a man who only really likes strong, creative, independent women this guy's speaking from limited experience.

This woman IS intimidating but feels worth the challenge.

I'm only backing up this guy's point about everybody being attracted to people who like themselves and have confidence. The cases in which a driven woman can be a turn off is when it's clearly a paper thin veneer on an insecurity and especially when she over-compensates with an aggressive manner. Women tend to think the same of driven men when they're angry and insecure. Everyone wants the one with skills who is also happy with themselves and happy with other people. (although the masochistic amongst us go even more for the ones happy with themselves and judgemental of other people)

Fundamentally I don't believe men are much different to women but many men have been socialised to feel that dominance is inherently masculine, not feminine. That means in effect they can't accept a woman who behaves as if she's his equal because equal is far too close to better than they're secure with.

Men raised by modern, enlightened mothers who did most of the family bread-earning tend to think different. Also, smarter men in general.

Adam said...

...And just to back that up I'll give an example. I once hooked up with a girl who had completely different politics to me. Not that I knew it at the time. She was attractive but while she nodded, smiled and tried to make it sound like she sort of agreed I could see right through and remember being really put off.
Next day I had my suspicion confirmed when I saw her political leaning on facebook and I explained I wasn't especially up for meeting again.

The month after I hooked up with a different girl also with more right wing politics. She, on the other hand immediately stood up for her viewpoint and argued it out. We had great times over the next few months had as much as we wanted from each other and are now close friends.

Anonymous said...

8===D~~~ O=<

Anonymous said...

Well it's just tips for amateurs who are still gaming. I won't , for instance, change a viewpoint to please a stranger. However, I will lean closer and match body language to understand and connect. That monkey reaction.

Mina Yang said...

Nice post, but I'm pretty sure that if someone can't appreciate your independence and strength, they aren't right for you.

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